Peroni

20

Autor: Jelena Trajković

Kažu da nemaš šta da izgubiš ako ti život stane u jedan kofer… Pakujem u njega sve svoje nade, ljubav i sreću što ti se vraćam. Sedim na podu, radosna kao malo dete; radosna jer sam ti rekla da kad tebe zagrlim, to je kao da sam došla kući.

Zaboravljam sve loše što mi se desilo, sav trud koji sam uložila da bih nas održala i odlučujem da ne odustanem tek tako od nas. Odlučujem da budem ta koja će biti stub i podneti sve što treba, samo da ostanemo zajedno. Slušam te danima, zagrlila bih te preko slušalice da mogu. Odlučujem da ogluvim na sve tvoje sumnje i uvrede, sasvim uverena da ljubav pobeđuje.

Zamišljam tvoj osmeh kad ti se pojavim na vratima, zbunjenost jer sam te probudila iz dremke posle posla. Ležem da spavam sva u maštarijama, zaljubljena kao tinejdžerka i rešena da sve napustim zarad tebe. Zarad nas. A onda je došla surova jasnoća jutra. Budi me tvoja poruka kako moramo da porazgovaramo. I ja sam istog momenta znala. Jednostavno sam znala da si odustao, nisi ni morao to da izgovoriš naglas. Ali ipak ne reagujem i skamenjena srca odlazim na stanicu. Oko mene se grle i ljube meni nepoznati ljudi, govore jedni drugima kako se vole i kako će vreme brzo proći. I ja u sebi vrištim, izdrži još malo, ljubavi. Dolazim ti. Sigurna sam u to da su peroni videli više iskrenih zagrljaja, poljubaca i suza nego sve sobe ovog sveta. Guram kofer u stranu čekaonice i čekam. Čekam svog dželata iako nisam kriva. Zločin nad ljubavi i kazna jer sam verovala. Bog mi je svedok da sam dala šansu da se nešto promeni. Pozivam te i ti me ostavljaš. Ostavljaš me na tri sata od predviđenog vremena da ti krenem u zagrljaj. Nikada snažnije nisam želela da padne kiša i da spere ove vriske što cure niz obraze. Da li sada shvataš šta je mala ironija života?

Prethodni tekstNajistinski vranjanci – Mihajlo Stanković i Dušan Stevanović
Sledeći tekstFestival ,,Pivski” – Ladovica

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